At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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