Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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