Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
