Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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