He kissed a someone with a penis
home. puking in laundry basket.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
