On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize