I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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