Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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