Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
