So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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