The maid of honor just puked.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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