I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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