she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
