The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize