i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
