well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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