Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Are my feet made of real feet?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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