i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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