Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
COCAINE IS GR8
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
