Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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