the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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