capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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