This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
