Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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