I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
