I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
