i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
