I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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