who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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