Define "chronic" masturbator.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
