I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize