Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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