Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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