i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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