Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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