There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
