i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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