I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
