i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
