Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I love having hate sex.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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