So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize