whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
