sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
