Your tits are I can't wait for
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
