I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
