I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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