apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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