You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
