the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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