Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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