it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
