id be glad to
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
