"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
