I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
