How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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