i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize