Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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