Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
