sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
