I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
