Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
